About Matt

Matt is a relationship coach trained and certified at The Relationship School by founder Jayson Gaddis (also host of the Smart Couple podcast. He is trauma-informed and RLT-informed (Relational Life Therapy, a therapeutic modality devised by Terry Real).

For much of my adult life I’ve been invested in a fantasy of what long-term relationship should be - easy, comfortable and sexy all the time, right? Right?

If you’re reading this, you probably know that relationships can be the most challenging thing we do. And if you’re a parent you know that kids, as much as you love ‘em, add bonus levels of stress. 

If you’ve ever blamed your partner because it’s easier than taking responsibility, heard yourself saying *that thing* again in the midst of a fight (y’know, That Thing you promised yourself you would never say again), got tense just seeing your partner’s ID light up your phone, felt embarrassed that you’re forever complaining to your friends about the perpetual crisis that is you relationship, stayed late a work because it’s more of a refuge than your home – I get it. 

I’d perfected a damaging and compulsive pattern of coping when the fantasy got shaky (as it always does). It took a massive and painful upheaval to finally and fully recognise this pattern. I’d hurt the people I love the most, and so I made a commitment to address my emotional wounds, my entitlement and other blind spots driving my behaviour. 

I started looking at what I could take responsibility for rather than blame my partner.

How was I showing up in the relationship?

How and why was I making choices that took my attention away from my partner?

When shit kicked off, how could I get better at staying and resolving conflict (instead of shutting down for days)? 

How good was I actually at listening? 

Did I know what was important to me in a relationship, and how to express this in a way that could be heard (versus my partner feeling blamed)?

I got serious training and experience in how to really listen, how to feel, how to deal with conflict and how to understand what’s actually happening in relationships (vs what I want to happen or think is happening) and what my (and your) brain and body does when we’re in conflict.

As I began to experience major shifts in my relationship life, I got passionate about helping other people work through their relationship challenges. I got certified as a Relationship Coach and created Relationships That Work - a straight-forward, no-nonsense approach to better relationships. I teach a perspective, skills, and tools that I apply every day in my own life and continue to make positive tangible changes in my relationships, and will in yours.

And where’s that got me?

Today I have confidence of knowing what’s important to me in a relationship and how to discuss it. I know how to deal with the conflict that’s inevitable in any close relationship and not lose connection with the people important to me. And I enjoy an ease and deep fulfillment in the important relationships in my life.

I don’t see my path as complete, nor do I imagine it ever will be. However, I know my journey has provided a deeper understanding and connection with those I love. 

I experience a renewed sense of possibility in all areas of my life, and the depth and quality of the important relationships in my life continues to expand. My son and daughter, family, friends and those I love deserve my best. 

• If your primary relationship is with Netflix

• If you’re reading this in your car, killing time to avoid stepping in your front door

• If you’re ready to see the way forward in your relationships life...

Connect with me for your free Relationship Service Call. 

Or if you know you’re ready to take the big step, head on over here.

A Quick Word About Men’s Work

My deep-dive into men’s work began over 14 years ago with a book on manhood given to me by my brother. The gift came at a time when I was deeply lost about my role as husband, as father to my young son, and as a man in the world. That book led to an immersion in the ManKind Project, participating in men’s groups, staffing on the retreats and serving on the board. 

Learning to be vulnerable around men, learning to identify and begin to feel my emotions, and supporting men in their own development, became a mission for me. I’m now the co-founder/facilitator of the Evryman Toronto men’s group. 

Connecting to my vulnerability, and expanding my emotional awareness and capacity has helped me show up with strength and presence in some of the most challenging times in my life. 

Connect with me for your free Relationship Service Call.