"Too Busy" For Your Relationship? Really?
Here's a story about me in a different phase of my life, in a whole different relationship.
We moved in together, split finances, bought a house, had kids.
All these things came from the relationship. They were supported by the relationship
BUT...
They weren’t the relationship itself.
With all those things comes these things - get the kids to school, from school, to swimming to karate. Grocery shopping. Laundry. Laundry. Laundry. Paying the bills. And on and on.
The relationship got bumped to the bottom of the list.
It became the last thing that got my attention once everything else was ticked off the list.
(And yes, sometimes we need to prioritise other things in our lives. A busy phase at work. A sick parent. Life happens.)
You know why this happened?
I thought the relationship would take care of itself.
In the heat and excitement of a new relationship, staying connected to each other takes care of itself.
Add to that the fantasy of 'the one'. I believed that finding the ‘right’ person meant that all the challenges and fears and doubts I’d ever experienced in previous relationships would disappear.
And the relationship slipping down the priority list didn’t happen overnight. It was the frog in a pot of slowly heating water.
You know a way to make your busy life more stressful?
Ignore the importance of your relationship by not taking care of it.
You get out of the habit of nurturing it. Or (raise your hand) you don't know how to make the relationship a priority over time because you never saw our parents do it.
Ok you can all put your hands down now.
Back to the story. What happened to me?
Resentments built.
Tempers flared.
Issues remained unresolved because I was too busy defending my corner.
The shitty stuff became a mountain that overshadowed the glimpses of fun, happiness, and intimacy.
It affected my capacity to parent well, do my job effectively (screwed up big a couple of times), my relationships with friends (oh look, there I am still complaining about my relationship), my sleep, my health.
I was doing the best I could. And I didn't know any better.
These days I know better. I learned better, I do better and my life is better - SO MUCH better because I keep the health of my relationship in view.
It's not always easy or convenient because life happens.
But coming back to the connection with my partner, Carina, is essential in the truest sense of the word.
I come back to tenderness, acceptance, passion, capacity and strength.
Taking time to stay connected in your relationship looks like moving forward as a team.
Engaging in small, meaningful moments throughout the day ramps up feelings of intimacy.
It's quality not quantity that matters here.
My simple and easy 45-minute Create Deeper Connection session is the best way I know to supercharge your relationship and get more intimacy and connection. Click here to book it.
It's a process that Carina and I use to make sure our relationship foundation is strong and we're moving forward as a team.
You, your partner, and I work together through a process that instantly (it's in the title!) gets you back the connection (it's in the title!) and intimacy that gets lost in the stress and busyness of your life.
After 45 minutes you'll have a connection plan tailor made for your relationship. You can start using it immediately the same day.
I love doing the Create Deeper Connection sessions. Time flies by because the process simple and effective and fun.
I see couples light up with excitement about the juicy possibilities opening up for them right in front of their eyes.
Bottom Line: start with a simple and powerful way to feel connected throughout your busy days. Move through the year as a team feeling supported and cherished.
Don't miss your spot. Book your 45 minute Create Deeper Connection session for you and your partner here for only $97 .
Get connected!
Talk to Matt about having fewer fights and more intimacy. Book your free discovery call here.
Photo by Patricia Prudente on Unsplash